I’m giving my life to the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun.
Every starry night, that was His design.
I’m giving my life to the only Son, who was and is and yet to come
Let the praises ring, ’cause He is everything
‘Cause He is everything

I’m giving my life to the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun
On that starry night, He changed my life.
I’m giving it all to the only Son who gave me hope when I had none.
So let the praises ring,
Ohhhh Let the Praises Ring

to laugh is to risk appearing the fool

to weep is to risk appearing sentimental

to reach out for another is to risk involvement

to expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self

to place your ideas, dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss

to love is to risk not being loved in return

to live is to risk dying

to hope is to risk despair

to try is to risk failure

but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing

the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

they may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live

only a person who risks is free

~ author unknown

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

- Philippians 1:1-8 (MSG)

i am taking a communications class at fuller, and we are giving an oral presentation next tuesday on a children’s book.  of course, she wants us to use different voices for different characters, but on top of that, she wants our narrator voice to be different from our own.  well as i’ve been revisiting children’s books to see the one i wanted to pick, i remembered this book i read long ago, titled “You Are Special” by Max Lucado.

I remembered it, because this book reminds us that in this world, we may be tempted to define ourselves by what others think of us.  and others may make their judgments on us based on our performance, or how good we are at somethings… yet we have a Maker who thinks we are special simply because of the fact that He made us and loves us.  It’s a simple and basic message that i’ve heard my whole life.. but the way this book tells it is truly touching..

reminded me that ultimately the more I spend soaking in the truth that God loves me exactly for who I am, not for what I can do.. then I won’t define myself based on what others think!  I hope you may be empowered by this truth as well.. that you are indeed special..because God makes you and He doesn’t make mistakes.

1. First up: Stop worrying so much! It’s useless. (I.e. Jesus was right.)

2. Being a saint means being yourself. Stop trying to be someone else and just be your best self. Saves you heartache.

3. There’s no right way to pray, any more than there’s a right way to be a friend. What’s “best” is what works best for you.

4. Remember three things and save yourself lots of unneeded heartache: You’re not God. This ain’t heaven. Don’t act like a jerk.

5. Your deepest, most heartfelt desires are God’s desires for you. And vice versa. Listen. And follow them.

6. Within you is the idea of your best self. Act as if you were that person and you will become that person, with God’s grace.

7. Don’t worry too much about the worst that can happen. Even if it happens, God is with you, and you can handle it. Really.

8. You can’t force people to approve of you, agree with you, be impressed with you, love you or even like you. Stop trying.

9. When we compare, we are usually imagining someone else’s life falsely. So our real-life loses out. I.e. Compare and despair.

10. Even when you finally realized the right thing, or the Christian thing, to do, it can still be hard to do. Do it anyway.

11. Seven things to say frequently: I love you. Thank you. Thank you, God. Forgive me. I’m so happy for you! Why not? Yes.

12. Peace and joy come after asking God to free you — from anything that keeps you from being loving and compassionate.

it’s so crazy how much happens in just one year.  As we near the beginning of 2011, I am able to look back and see how faithful God has been to me — He truly has blessed me with so much.  I started this year with the theme of “Growing Deeper Roots,” and I see how in planting my roots deep in God this past year, that my foundation in Him has grown so solid.  Just like a tree, when it is a seedling, it is easily uprooted… yet as it grows its roots even deeper, it can withstand so much more.  That’s the woman I want to be, firmly rooted in Christ… no matter what my circumstances or environment may want to do to uproot me..

now as I go into another year, I see so many transitions and positive life changes that will take place for me:  I will graduate from seminary, I will hopefully start a new career in full-time ministry (job search has now begun), and will get married !! and then hopefully get a new puppy  hehe.  I am so very excited about this upcoming year and feel so e x t r e m e l y blessed.   With so many new and exciting changes, it is all very surreal how I feel my life is now actually beginning.. as I transition into what feels like real adulthood..

I was able to go home to spend Christmas with my family, and I can just feel how different things are getting, as we all grow older and experience life’s new surprises/changes, I realize how precious time is… how quickly it passes and how much can change in a moment.  I was asked me the other day the question, “do you ever think about a moment in your life, where if you had made a different decision, how different your life would be now?” ..  and it’s really interesting to think about..how our decisions and commitments really define us..

yet in the midst of where my life is now and everything that has happened to me up to this moment, I am completely convinced that God orchestrated everything… so perfectly.. up to this moment.  I just know I’m exactly where God wants me and I see how my faith in Him has grown by reflecting back on God’s provisions, and trusting him even more for future provisions.. especially as I step into so many new territories this year.

so my prayer for you, is that you may also be able to use this new year’s.. to reflect on God’s faithfulness to you and allow that to secure and strengthen your trust in a God who never changes and is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.. For if He proved faithful to us before..He will prove faithful to us again through the many blessings, and life changes

Pray that you have a most happy new year   May we trust that wherever we are in our own life, that God is faithful… our solid rock in which we stand

THERE IS ONE GOD

HE IS HOLY

THERE IS ONE LORD

OVER EVERYTHING

THERE IS ONE KING

HE IS JESUS

KING OF GLORY

STRONG AND MIGHTY

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide

He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.

————————————–

To answer these questions, I believe the Deep Change I am experiencing now is walking forward in what I believe is God’s calling for me to serve in full-time church ministry when I graduate from Fuller next June.  I believe this is a deep change simply because it calls for me to be more fully in tune with God’s voice and leading in my life and for me to grow more comfortable/confident in the woman God has called me to be and the unique voice/gifting/passion that I have.

The ember I believe I have is that I have a deep desire to truly walk more fully in my identity as Diana Lee.  I am one to believe I am pretty self-motivated, always wanting to grow, always wanting to be challenged, always wanting to learn.  I feel like because I approach life with this attitude of a sponge, I tend to soak up a lot.  The more I spend processing and reflecting who I am, the more I feel like I can understand more of who God is in me and who He is creating me to be.  I just feel like I am very teachable and my learning curve is high.  So my willingness and mindset that I don’t know what I am doing, keeps me dependent on God and moving forward with whatever He is calling me to with courage, faith, and “walking naked into the land of uncertainty”

Yet, where am I stuck? what are some self-cancelling thoughts I have?  I think simply the very fact that I don’t feel like I have all the knowledge, all the experience to feel “ready” for full-time ministry, but then again, are any of us really “ready?”  I think I lack confidence and think of myself as relating to those in the Bible whom God calls, but feel so unworthy or find themselves having self-doubt “really, God, me?  why me?”

I guess I am fully aware that the calling to full-time ministry as a “minority” as an asian-american woman is not going to be easy AND the fact that I feel like I really haven’t had too many “hard” life experiences to fully relate to everyone.  I feel like I come from a pretty “innocent, happy-go-lucky, idealistic mindset” that I feel like make me not such an ideal candidate to help those in the church fully understand who they are in Christ and how they can live for him.  And that is my desire (at least now) simply my heart is for those in the church who don’t fully know what it means to have Christ living IN and THROUGH them and how they should truly transform the way they approach life, relationships, and their circumstances.. Yet I find myself thinking, but what about me?  do I always live in Christ’s power, hope, and victory in my own life?  I think my biggest enemy is comparing myself to others and feeling so unsure of myself, yet at the same time I can’t deny God’s calling of me..and so I believe at this stage right now, all I can do is be more fully me, know who that is, and allow God to use ME as myself.

I guess the way I am seeing that “work itself out” in my own life is being in my last year at Seminary, pursuing my M.Div and taking my first preaching class this quarter.  I don’t know why, but the idea of “preaching” just scares me.  I realize that even though I am very bubbly and outgoing, I am so deathly afraid of public speaking!  I deeply desire to grow into a more comfortable presence to others, so no matter what I’m doing, I can just speak with boldness and clarity. Yet what’s encouraging me in my preaching class, is that preaching isn’t just about having the skill in public speaking, it’s tying everything together:  proclaiming God’s word through my own understanding of theology, ethics..taking into consideration the audience, my personality, my experiences.. it just all seems like such a daunting task.  but I think the more I give myself to being comfortable in who God has made me, and with my own voice, I can fully be used by God to proclaim his word, whatever way He wants to use me.  I just want to be surrendered to doing the very things that scare me.  I believe it’s only when we’re uncomfortable that we’re growing.